Our time is drawing near to an end...

She was awake tonight, watching TV again.  She keeps asking for her son in law.  We tell her he is at home.  She then says “oh, he’s normal, he’s all right,” and smiles.  Her daughter and her caregiver during the day said she has been asking about lots of family members.

She has been very tired lately, most of the time she is asleep when I get there. Her daughter said she has been constipated, longer this time.  Her appetite has decreased too.  I know our time is drawing closer to an end.  She is ready though, has been for a very long time.  

On a slightly different look at Alz, my mom and uncle went to visit my grandma one time. My mom had grabbed a picture of grandma and her 1^st husband to show Harold, my grandma’s 2^nd husband, because he had not seen them. They were at the side of her bed and she saw the photo of grandpa and as she touched his face she said, "He hasn't changed at all, he still looks the same." My mom & uncle were surprised that she recognized him and so mom showed her the photo of her and she touched her hair in the photo then touched hers and said "I like that much better." Of course she meant the color because she had dark almost black hair when she was younger.

We will ever fully understand the human brain, especially those with Alzheimer's.

Family...

She hasn’t been feeling well, tired, coughing.  Her doctor gave her an antibiotic thinking she might be getting pneumonia.  She coughed during the night a few times, but not enough to wake her up.  Funny how just 2 nights ago she was up moving around when I got there again, active, yet then she will be really tired, ready for bed by 8:30.  

I know I've said this before, but there are days it’s hard knowing I have to leave, especially when my oldest is home.  There is so much sacrifice made by the family members, I cannot even begin to imagine. For my family and me it’s just me not being home at night.  Sometimes I see the faces of my daughters’ when they know I have to leave, my youngest will be going to bed and say she doesn’t want me to go; my oldest is silent, but her face says it too.  My husband and son don’t say much, must be a guy thing :) .  I have told my youngest that it won’t be much longer, while I don’t really know when, I sense my time is almost finished, for whatever reason.

What do people do that can’t afford help at home, or cant afford a facility?  Something needs to change…