Until we meet again

My friend said it this way “My grandma has a new address.”  Mrs. D died Sunday morning, April 7.  She had been very quiet, sleeping a lot.  But there were times she would open her eyes and talk to whoever was in the room.  I had the chance to see her before her passing.  She looked right at me, as if she could really see who I was and just stared.  Then, as I said goodbye, she kissed my hand several times.

The family said her breathing was slowing, her time was near.  They stayed with her through the night.  Then she breathed out her final breath.  Her service is Friday.  I suppose this is my last entry on Watching Mrs. D.





It has been a little over 2 months since Mrs. D died.  I feel selfish saying this, but I miss our time, what little we had.

On another note, I am now seeing what can happen to someone after they have had a small stroke.  My Great-Uncle is in rehab right now, and I’ve noticed a few things.  One, just before the stroke, he has been really tired.  Yes, he is 88, but it seems to have come up fast.  And since the stroke, he laughs differently, almost childishly.  I’m not ready for another death…




This is Watching Mrs. D saying I hope you enjoyed reading, until next time ---

Sudden vs Waiting

I think I’m done.  Mrs. D stayed in a care facility, intended for rehab, for a few days.  But, she wasn’t eating very much, is very weak and lots of back pain.  The family isn’t doing well with this, especially the daughter that asked me to help out.  They all know what statistics show, people deteriorate so quick in these places.  So they brought her home instead, set up a hospital bed for her and hospice care.  She has moments where she is coherent, of course, what that means for her.  But she still isn’t eating.  Family and friends have been coming by daily, lots of them.  That’s good.  The family is surrounding her 24 hours a day now, rotating shifts, but not ever just one of them.  Saying goodbye is tough.  I don’t know which is harder, sudden death or knowing it’s coming.  Knowing allows people to say things, maybe even heal some wounds, but it’s not immediate and waiting can take its toll.  Not knowing though can be tough, especially if last words were harsh, or you never got around to telling your loved one something. 

I find myself thinking that maybe she is hanging on for one more person to say goodbye, like maybe someone hasn’t let go yet.  This isn’t how it was supposed to be.  This isn’t how the family wanted it. It just doesn’t make sense.  I don’t usually say things like this, but I need to, just this once….Why do young people die and old people have to deal with living with alz? Death is never easy, never… 

No Fair

One of the more frustrating things about getting older is our inability to recover as quickly from falls.  Often times this leads to being in a rehab facility, which can then lead to a long stay, even not getting out.  Add Alzheimer’s to the symptoms and it can change everything.  I watched my grandma go from just needing to recover from hip surgery to getting alz while in a facility.  She never got out.  Deteriorated so quickly.

Last night, Mrs. D fell.  She is in too much pain for her family to help her at home.  Can’t get up on her own and is having so much pain just to try to get to the bathroom.  So, they are taking her back to the hospital, and most likely will have to put her in a care facility.  Although no one wants to say it, she probably won’t get out.  She is already so advanced.  She doesn’t like being alone either.  And when she was alone before, she would get up in the middle of the night and wander.  Now what?  This is the part I don’t like, and will admit is not fair…I know, life isn’t fair, but this?  This is just…no fair.